The fire and thereby smoke is the Californian version of a pandemic outbreak that NY and Florida experienced. It’s a jolt to the human morale. It hits you to the core. I experienced more claustrophobia this last week than in the entire pandemic

We are unable to open the windows and doors. Kids cannot go out to play. I cannot even step into the garage for a run or a workout. It’s terrible for the businesses too. Outdoor dining is stalled. All the outdoor arrangements that were made by these restaurants are catching dust and in some areas, ash. We all need a wash down. Rain. It will be hard to stay indoors when that happens. I want to wash up in this rain myself.

We humans need a cleanse from time to time. But in California, even the sky needs one. So much for the Californian sunshine. It’s been hiding from us. As my mother would say, it’s been jinxed. नज़र लग गयी है जैसे।

The world quickly turns to the narrative that the earth is healing, and humans are paying a price for their acts. I differ. How is the earth healing? The earth is burning, and in this case, not just the humans, the plants and the animals in these burnt areas are hurting even more. Nature is at war with man, read one of the headlines when the pandemic started. I beg to offer an alternate headline. Nature is at war with itself. And the humans, animals and plants are all paying a price.

In Hindi there is a word प्रलय (pralay). In a pralay, the lower realms of existence dissolve or get reabsorbed in state of non existence. And the world gets an opportunity to resurrect. I am certain we are in the middle of a pralay.

I have not felt the part of a whole more than I do now. We are all equal in our struggle against these calamities. So surreal to feel connected to others in a lock down. Paradox!

Last night we watched #Alive on Netflix. It was a beautiful Korean movie. Beautiful is a strange word to describe a movie about a Zombie attack. But the movie is not about an attack. It is about our will to live, and if I may add to love. Korean movies are quite the trend these days. They have this unique cultural edge that Hollywood has not caught up on. Parasite was another such movie. And I’ve heard Peninsula is a new one to watch.

Last week was quite strange in so many respects. I didn’t sleepy Monday night due to food poisoning. And then I could not sleep on Thursday night either. With so much sleep disruption, energy levels at an all time low.

More hectic weekend ahead, but the sky is not Martian in appearance anymore, and the AQI is as bad as it is in Delhi every winter. So we are getting there, slowly and steadily.

I was looking forward to a week long break at the end of the month. But as luck might have it, I need to cut it short for a few more of the last rights. I should still get a 5 day stretch. I need a break to recharge, and to plan. And to enact my own प्रलय।