I have always done things EARLY in life. So when it came to parting with my father – I had to this also very early. I cannot fathom that I only got to spend some 25 years of consciousness with him. That is roughly a third of my life. The remaining 2/3rd of my life will be spent missing him. Is this destiny? Perhaps. I have learnt so much from him, and even now, after he is gone, there is so much learning – in just how he died.
I can write a book on my Dad – what I learnt from him. The key moments – when his words ended up changing my life. I can keep writing about him and his beliefs. How he dealt with people – all sorts of people. How he dealt with money – less or more. How he dealt with me – my confusion on what is a need and what is a desire. And I will someday – put it all down. I will write for him. And that is how my kids will know him. All promises and resolutions we make when tragedy strikes – and then we move on with life. It is all very strange if you ask me – my mind is divided in two camps – grief and duty. More about it someday else. For now – I am growing up.
On a similar note. God prepares you for things, and then he tests you – only when you pass his test – does he throw you into the fire. A few days before Papa’s transition, a close friend of mine was dealing with a series of deaths in her family. This is what I wrote on her blog. I stand by this even today. I have lost my father. But just as one of all time favorite class teacher, Ms Pallavi Rao said, “He could not be closer to me than he is now.”
Shivi 
So sorry to hear your loss. Your kids will be lucky to read about him.
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