People are afraid of me

Apparently, people are afraid of me. They don’t ask me questions when I present because they are afraid of me. I intimidate them. Let me process that one more time.

I did not know how to process this event. So I fell. It was a free fall. I sank deep, didn’t want to come out. But I did. Faced the camera, so to speak. Asked the 1 person I could ask in that room to help me. I told them that I feel attacked. Am I wrong?

The question should not have been if I am wrong? The question should have been if the person who said that, is right. But we don’t ask that question.

I worry for my daughter who will grow up in this world where competence is to be feared. As for me, I am hurt, broken, perplexed. I don’t have much to do but to move on. But I am keeping count, and one day I will have the courage to give feedback.

I failed today. I did not play to my values. I am afraid of myself now. Maybe that was the purpose of the comment – induce fear, failure, and self doubt.

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