Doug is dying. I’ve known Doug for 15 years. He is my friend and mentor, Lori’s husband. He is the nerd she talked about in between when we’d go for long walks after work in Amsterdam. I met Doug at the holiday parties and saw him in pictures when I was on FB.

He has brain cancer. And it is spreading too fast. Treatment is not working. Lori has taken off from work and is helping Doug through this terminal illness.

She updates me via messenger every time there is a dip in the trajectory. I take my time to respond. Sometimes people get so much time to say their goodbyes. I bet it hurts more.

I’m just numb. I can’t be there for her. I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t know how to help her. Helplessness is a very depressing feeling.

Despondent me!