Fear, again!

It turned out to be one of those weeks that makes you want to tune into a nonsensical Bollywood chick flick just to forget all that happens around you. And dive into some fantasy world that has no connection to the real one. And I’d like to take my family with me to that world, please.

Usually I like to write to sort my thoughts. But these thoughts are so meaningless that it’s a waste to even sort them. Toss them in trash.

Also the ones that needed to be sorted were already discussed with Agam. I find myself hearing all those things I was telling him not so long ago. Well the good thing is I am getting some wise advice reflected back at me 🤣

TLDR of my crisis is – I need to withhold and withdraw my stake in the whole career game. I take it way too seriously, for someone who does not know what a win looks like. Because what’s winning for others is losing to me. And I don’t know what I want from it. But whatever it is should be worth all the investment I put in. But I don’t know what it is. It’s not money, and not progression. And since I am increasingly becoming aware about the lack of clarity of that goal, it bothers me endlessly.

It’s almost like what are you running for? Don’t know. Then stop running. But I don’t know how to walk. But have you tried? No, I am afraid of it.

Fear! Once again! The root cause of all problems is always one – fear! I need to overcome my fear of being an insignificant part of a big system.

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