Dialogues in my mind

Why don’t you run in this race?

It’s not my race.

Which race is yours?

Haven’t quite settled on one. But this one is not worth my time and effort

But you will be left behind

I will still be ahead of myself every day

That’s all philosophical talk. You will be passed on for opportunities.

I have all the opportunities I want to explore today. The ones I want I know I won’t find here anyways.

That’s today. People will be ahead of you taking dibs on your opportunities very soon.

Let them. There is enough for all of us.

Again, philosophical talk.

You are afraid of something. Failure perhaps.

I have failed enough in my own eyes. This failure does not matter.

Then why not throw the dice and see what happens.

I will when I am more certain of the outcome, and what will follow, after the outcome is achieved. Until then, what’s the rush.

You don’t like when you see less capable people ahead of you.

I don’t like when I limit myself to what others are capable of.

Again, philosophical talk.

I want someone to tell me why I should do it. I don’t want the money. I don’t want the title. I don’t want the power.

I seek influence, I earn it. I seek respect, I earn it. I seek appreciation, I earn it. I seek sponsorship, and may be someday I will earn that too. And that’s when someone will tel me I am ready.

Wishful thinking.

Perhaps. Keeps me sane. I refuse to run this race as a narcissist. I play for the team. Team owes it to me to bat for me, when they think the time is right.

Haven’t you learned enough already?

Apparently not 😉

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