Fragility – a mental state. Despite how positive my day was in the first half, with three promo celebrations, a lunch walk with Agam to grab a sandwich at Panera, and a chatty meeting celebrating a fourth well deserved promo, I broke down into a million pieces in the second half. I found my voice, but I didn’t find my confidence. I was weak and brittle and broken and it was not what I wanted.
But I let it out and although I thought I’d feel better, I am all riled up again. I don’t want to go back to that dark place. I don’t want to reason with myself all over again. I just don’t want to think about it. I want to move on, and prove my worth where it will matter.
I might have not been good enough by someone’s standards, but I was my best self and I could not have achieved the results I did, results that matter to me, without being my authentic self. And my results speak for themselves. I define how I will measure my success. And it is not going to be influenced by a number.
My fragility scares me. But I will overcome it. I’m broken, but I am not a puzzle that can only be solved by fitting the pieces a certain way. I can create a kaleidoscope from these broken pieces. The future is up to me.