feel good!

There are way too many things going around in the world, and very few of them are positive. My friends and I discussed the constant yo-yo effect we are all experiencing in our days and weeks. There are days when end seems to be in sight, and those when the long and dark road ahead makes us feel more depressed.

It does not help that the US Presidential election is just 90 days away. So much at stake. And so little certainty. And so many view points. The virus is still beating us to our game, there is violence on the streets, economy is going for a toss, freak accidents are happening in Beirut, there is growing resentment amongst nations, and the common man and woman are struggling every single day.

When this pandemic started to unfold, I humorously shared an annual calendar – a lot of it came true. Including, at this rate of destruction, Chernobyl might just start emitting toxic gases again. And lo-behold came Beirut’s tragedy in August. The storms on the East Coast ripped off power for days, and people are having to deal with the dual calamities of a storm and a pandemic.

So much trauma, and tragedy surrounds us today. On Thursday I was catching up with a friend and learnt that his brother-in-law, who is younger than him, died from COVID. And while I was speaking to him, I learnt that a friend lost her father to COVID in the last hour. It is even more tragic when loved ones cannot even travel back home to say good-bye to the departed, or see them for one last time. This trauma will change their lives. It changed mine.

On the other side, parents cannot seem to decide if schools should open or close. There is strong judgement and some reasoning on both sides of the table. I worry about the teachers, and the kids and all our health. But I also worry that that much touted equality in education is going to be ruined for an entire generation. My daughter is doing 1st grade workbooks while her peer in a lower income neighborhood likely cannot count. There will be disparity. There will be chaos.This digital divide will come and bite our kids when they are older. Given the more realistic fatality rates that are coming out, it is worth the risk. But I know I can say that since I don’t live with immuno-compromised demographics. And that’s why let’s embrace the grey. Those who can, let’s step forward and give those kids a chance. Those who cannot, we will still support you.

My mother has not stepped outside the house since last four months. She goes for a walk on the terrace twice a day and that’s the sum total of her exposure to the open air. Yesterday when we went to the park, an old lady, likely of my Mom’s age was sitting in the park, with her mask on, and enjoying the lively activities in the park. I looked at her and missed my Mom. Simple joys have become a challenge. I wondered when my Mom will be able to sit like this in a park, in India. I shuddered at the thought of it.

With so much disappointment and struggle that surrounds us, I am happy to share that Tara’s best friends are also joining St Jo’s. Our little community of little pre-school graduates shall continue. I am a very strong believer of strong, self sustained communities. Reliance on each other, bringing out the best of each other, to create the best outcomes for the whole. I seek to build and nurture communities. If someone asked me what I love most – it is seeing a group of people bond, and have a good time together. Add in some creative, and social projects to that, and there you are -a recipe for a fulfilling life. Connection is critical. And once you make a connection, keeping at it is even more critical.

Some of my fond connections are being severed and I worry if I can keep them intact. If I cannot, I want to gracefully let go. It will be hard. It is hard. But I cannot see the future. I do what I can do – be myself.

We have a rather social weekend planned this time. I am making rasgullas. Some days I have this urge to do something extremely tedious. Those days I make rasgullas. I don’t know why I have that urge, like give me something I can pour a lot of effort into. Lately I try to pour that effort back into me, during my workouts…Feels good.

Yes, and that’s the thing, with so many things around us that don’t make us feel good. There are things that do. Find them, and do them. It’s important to feel good. You deserve it.

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