Oh the joys of feeling. I am told I am very emotional. Now I think that to have empathy you need to have a good relationship with emotions. But I was also told that I lack empathy. So now that’s a conflicted thought. But then, I have stopped thinking about all the things people tell me. I don’t trust them. I don’t have to. Anyways I wear my feelings on my sleeve. And I am not afraid of them coming out. If it’s unprofessional then so be it. I am not going to change myself. If my voice quivers when I am sharing with a team I worked with for almost two years, that I am moving on, I let it quiver. If I care, I also care to share. If that makes me weak, I’d rather be weak than be fake.

A few years ago I went to the graduation for my brother in law at Harvard. There were amazing women all around and one of them, who happened to be a good friend of my BIL, got chatting with me. I asked her how she would characterize her leadership style. She said – authentic and transparent. And I asked – don’t you get penalized for that? Don’t people take you less seriously because of that? She smiled and responded, “I cannot be anyone else. And neither can you. Get comfortable with who you are.”

Yesterday I saw her LinkedIn update. She has been appointed as the CEO of the firm she was interning at. Good for me my ambitions are more reasonable. I just want to have fun while solving problems with people who are smarter than me but are as human, as I am. So I guess I will survive. (Rhetorically me)

In the meanwhile today something happened and I turned to Haiku to change my mode of thinking. I was amused by the undertone of the dilemma.

I reserve the right /
To return to sanity /
To be forgotten

Here’s Thai green curry soup for dinner. Simple and yet quite complex in flavors.