We’ve come up with a good schedule for our evenings. I play soccer and frisbee with Tara and Agam for 20 min and then go for a solo 30 min walk around the neighborhood, and then I come back and we play a board game. That’s 90min of decompress time after work every day. It packs family time and solo time and it is a complete disconnect from work. It does delay dinner to 7pm. But Tara is till in bed by 8:30. So it works out net net.

I am glad to have found some me time. I love walking and especially when I don’t have a charted path in mind. Aimless wondering and exploring streets around my neighborhood is just enough for wet my adventurer spirit. We scale down our expectations to the context, sometimes. I might have to do that in some other areas too. I am not thrilled about that. But I don’t think this is the time to be ambitious.

Anyways. I love how our home which is not used much has become the center of all energy these days. I’ve started enjoying the piles of books lying on the table. We don’t pack up the LEGO anymore. There are crayons and stuffies all over the house. The sofa cushions are never in place. The table is full of Tara’s craft accessories. I am getting used to some clutter. Hah! Or rather I am de prioritizing solving for clutter. It now looks like a house with a 5yr old.

My 5 yr old is a source of such joy and love for both Agam and me. Her chit chat all day is entertaining. It gives me insights into her mind. Her bossy, and caring personality reminds me of my childhood. I used to love being the nurse to whoever was sick in the house. Tara is like that. She will try to help – and look for ways to help. In her own little way. She speaks to Agam just like I speak to him. Our sarcasm and dry wit and humor is infectious. We know she is listening and catching our phrases. It’s cute to hear it from a 5yr old – “daddy have you seen how much food is in the fridge. Don’t even think about ordering in” And she will say that with her finger wiggling a no! Adds to the charm.

I hope I set a good example for her as she grows up. To value me time does not come naturally to me. My mother’s generation did not have me time built into their day. I want Tara to not be shy about taking out time in the day for herself. She should know that it’s ok to be flexible with family meals some nights. Maggie with scrambled eggs is OK! And so is wine in the middle of the day when there is a pandemic going on. (Agam has started this lunch time wine concept which is a very bad idea. But it totally gets a smile on my face irrespective of how my day is going.)

I’m just rambling. I need to sleep now. A whole new days awaits!

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