My head is very clouded. It’s like when you get so wound up about something. And then it turns out to be ok. But you just cannot release the tension all of a sudden. The phase you are coming out of led you into a deep self discovery. You learnt a few things about yourself. You identified a few weaknesses, a few preferences, and a few strengths. You also made a fully executable backup plan. And now you are to wrap it all up. As if none of it ever happened.
You want to take the time to unwind. But there are no hours in the day to do that. You want to start fresh. But again, you are not able to find the turning point you can use for that. You are still hurt to some extent. And now you need to build a new narrative for yourself. But there is just no time for any of it. There is a sixteen hour flight coming up in a week’s time. Even that won’t cut it. Too much on my mind, and to add to that, an interesting week to be in India.
Sigh! I want to feel like something new is starting. But I have no time to feel. It’s the one thing I don’t like about life – it just goes on. Only stops once, when it’s the end. Why can’t we pause it for a little while?