Untangle the knots

While responding to an email at work, I wrote, “wow you made my day!”. The responder was surprised. He responded, “If it takes so little to make your day, I will make sure I do it more often.” I responded, “I try to derive joy from very little things. It keeps it real.”

To be honest, though I try to derive joy from little things, I also get disturbed by the little things. But that’s me. A hyper sensitive human, always sensing, reading the word no one writes, observing the under currents. And as much as I try to grow a pair of filters for my eyes who see too much, and for my ears that hear too much and a heart that feels too much, I fail. But I also know how to untie the knots I create.

On Sunday we went to Rockaway beach in Pacifica for a quick rendezvous with the ocean. Agam decided to take the kite along. Tara loves kites. When we reached Pacifica, the weather turned sour on us and the chill and fog took over the beach. We were determined to fly our kite, and so we did. By the time the kite took flight, Agam and Tara decided they were freezing and wanted to get back to the car. Of course, I was in a very buoyant mood by then. Well of course the ocean does its magic on me. [Agam also thinks that my rendezvous with the ocean cured my week long cold. :)]

While Agam and Tara returned to the car, I pursued my solitary walk to the nearby hill, with the kite still soaring high. As I was walking back my kite got stuck on the terrace of the Moonraker Hotel. I could not even see it and tugging the thread made no difference. What followed was a practical demonstration of my struggle with my thoughts in my little messy mind.

The kite was my thought, and I was my mind. My goal was to free my thoughts from the constraints of my mind, and let it be free.

I struggled with the kite. I tugged hard, almost gave up, decided to walk up to the terrace, ask for help, and finally decided to go tangential to the direction of the wind. I applied the laws of physics, some first principles, and with will, grit, and persistence, and a lot of trial and error, iteration, and patience, I untangled the kite, and it was free once again.

An old lady was watching me struggle as I focussed on getting the kite out. When she saw me smiling at it. She walked over to me, and said, “you are a professional.”. I asked, “at what?”. She said, “at freeing the kite.”

And I said to myself, “And freeing myself from the thoughts that try to control my mind.”

I reeled the thread back, packed the kite, and came back to the warmth of my sun and my star. A little lighter. A little happier and with a fresh and free mind.

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