Fear & love

Sometimes you have to change the narrative to get over fears. One of my fears is watching an ambulances on a street. The flashing lights, the siren, makes me numb. Today, when we were driving back from groceries, we saw one. I became quiet. Tara became worried. I looked in the mirror, and she was watching the flashing lights. I turned around and said, ” It’s ok. It means that someone can be saved today. This van will reach them in time, and they will be fine.” She smiled, and we resumed our conversation about Adam’s favorite lunch – peppers.

I realized that while I was trying to address Tara’s fear, somewhere in there I tried to address my own. I changed the narrative that plays in my mind when I see a paramedic van. I changed it from fear to hope. And I was able to handle it better.

We have been enjoying a lazy and gourmet weekend at home. My lovely punju family is coming over today and we plan to indulge in some amritsari chole kulche, masala jaipuri aloo, and coconut tapioca pudding. It’s no secret that I love cooking. But I really really love to cook for people I love. It’s my way of expressing gratitude and warmth. Cooking is a universal phenomenon – like parenthood and love. I like to stick to these universal phenomenon. They make the world smaller than it appears to be.

In two weeks I will be hosting my Spring Gala. This will be the fifth time. That reminds me, I need to plan a menu for that 🙂

On Valentines Day, Agam and I stepped out for lunch at Evvia. My most favorite restaurant in Bay Area. It was so refreshing to step outside on weeekday for a couple of hours and enjoy a sumptuous lamb lamb lunch. What a splendid idea. As I joked to someone at work, if after ten years of marriage we can continue to find reasons to spend time together in such impromptu ways, that means everything is alright 🙂

At lunch, we ended up talking about work a little. Agam caught me by surprise when he summarized my work life balance dilemmas by saying, if work is becoming your hobby. You need to find another hobby. He is right. At some pint I blurr the lines and fill up me “free me” time with work. I feel accomplished in the moment. But empty later. That’s a problem. So we need to fix it.

That’s why need these impromptu dates. So we can take the moment to think and find the space to share some of our innermost fears. A wise man once said, marriage succeeds on one principle – honest and frequent communication. He is right. Knock on wood 🙂

The universal phenomenon of love, finds itself expressed in a diverse set of narratives. My narrative is that I married a friend who I can always talk to. And to me as long as we keep talking, we will be in love.

Here’s to a fabulous weekend!

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