It’s almost time for the annual reflections. There is a lot that happened this year. A lot that I am thankful for, and a lot that I am just surprised at. We traveled a tiny bit more than planned. Both of us switched roles, and in Agam’s case, he left Google. I found hope and some promise in my humble attempt at understanding leadership. Tara grew up by leaps and bounds, and with her so did we. 

It is fair to say that this has been a swift year in passing. It started with our trip to India and Singapore, and will end with a trip to India.

Our travel highlights this year were a quick trip to San Diego to meet Kiaan, followed by a getaway to Monterey, followed by a long and fun trip to Australia. Then Dadu and Dadi came to visit and we went to Monterey with them again, followed by Maui on Labor Day, Seattle some time in October, and Cabo on Tara’s bday. In between I went to Boston for Jeeju’s graduation, New Orleans for a work summit, and Austin for a work trip. That’s a tad bit more than I like, so I am going to keep it light next year. I am dying to go back to Yosemite next Spring, and with Dadi completing her PhD in Spring, the much awaited trip to Greece is due as her reward. An annual pilgrimage to Hawaii and may be we keep it at just that for now. Of course we will wrap up with India in December. 

Health highlights – not much to note. Agam and I both did poorly on that front. I kicked off my walks this spring and continued through the summer. But the DST screwed up with my plans and winter has been harsh. I started a weekly strength training routine and that worked out fairly well. But it is not enough, and needs to be supplemented in 2019. I am so glad to have rekindled my love for walks though. It is like meditation. It is so hard to find time with just myself, but this year my morning routine allowed for more of me time.

Tara highlights are plenty. She is turning into a chatter box. Not sure what I was expecting. Her vocabulary and ability to frame complex sentences, and her natural style of oration is way beyond what I thought kids at this age possess. She finds joy in helping. She oscillates between a mellow kind kid to a fire cracker on a pretty regular basis. And I love that about her. It mirrors my own moods 😛 She enjoyed her music class this year with teacher D. Next year she will start an art class at CSMA.

Work front was just way too tumultuous. I grew the team, built a strong team culture, got us all grooving to the beat of moving forward, set some ambitious goals for the year, and then I went and gave myself away to an exciting unknown. I promise myself to never do that ever again. I don’t have the heart to leave what I build. I am still reconciling with my decision to leave a warm, strong, excelling team to go follow my lofty idealistic unknowns.

I am a fighter when it comes to making people do the right thing. I channelized my impatience, and righteousness to fight bureaucracy and yielded marginally productive results. I did not stay long enough on my old team to see it through, but I hired the right successor to take charge and continue the fight.

I learnt a lot about people, their incentives, their learning styles, intrinsic and extrinsic motivations, and coaching, this year. I tried hard to balance the heroic IC and the humble manager sides of me. I think I did OK. But I am sure there is scope for improvement. I did get a promotion. So that was nice too. But then again, I am just catching up to a trajectory I let go off when Tara was born. No regrets.

On the cooking front, I baked a lot less this year. We had several get togethers – the Spring Giving brunch, Holi lunch, summer party when Dadu and Dadi were here, and then Tara’s Bday + Holiday party. We met up with some friends after decades. The social scene was pretty heavy. And I’d like to slow that down a little in 2019. I need more “we” and “me” time next year. Work is bound to get more hectic and demanding, so I need to carve out time for Tara, Agam and myself.

I read more, but not enough. I like to keep some week nights for reading, and I had relatively less free week nights this year. By the time I hit the sack, I was so sleepy, and tired that I did not indulge in bed time reading as much. Need to work on my week night schedules. The problem with loving your work is that you start doing it as a hobby during any free time.

I wrote a lot. It was not as structured as I would have liked it to be. But something is better than nothing. Writing is my release. I don’t like to associate incentives with it, because it defeats the purpose. I prefer it to be a vocation. But it’s quite possible that I am convincing myself of this excuse when in reality I am just simply lazy. I did promise VC that I’d do it some day though. Perhaps that’s what retirement is for. I realized that I cannot store thoughts, I need to let them out. If I let them brew a little, I should be able to write some short stories. But I like to let them go, so they don’t occupy my mind. And that’s the challenge.

One can say that Rupi inspired me to be more lyrical this year. I went back to dabbling with hindi/urdu poetry. I feel embarrassed to even use the word poetry to describe my lyrical ramblings. Truth is that I find it very meditative to write in hindi/urdu. I recall the words, find their meanings, look for the right word, and weave it all together. It is an activity that completely disconnects me from my environment. As the time I have for myself shrinks, I need to find more activities where I can get the maximum return on my time. Writing in general, and writing poetry in particular are both great for that purpose.

In terms of giving, I found more ways to give this year. I am not going to list that here. But I felt like by giving in ways that I did, I received a lot back. So this cycle shall continue.

Here’s something that I will always remember 2018 for – a powerful passage in a book I read in a book shop in Seattle.

This year, I felt positively challenged in my pursuits. It was rewarding, gratifying, and ethereal in some respects. I learnt that good things happen to those who wait. That plans are just plans, life always takes over. And that finding myself is the only way to close the pot that has been open for a long time. I am the lid I am looking for.

We leave for India tomorrow. A happy home awaits us 🙂 See ya’ll in 2019!