It was a day of celebrations. A holiday cheer with my current team and a lovely holiday celebration in the evening with my ex team that I spent three quarters of the year with.
I am a sucker for holiday celebrations. There is just so much to reflect on. To look back and smile, and to plan ahead and anticipate. At dinner with my ex-team this evening I felt like I was home. It was so perfect. So magical. And so warm. Now it might have been the Sazerac. But I am certain it was the warmth of the people I was with. I miss them. And being with them, made me realize that even more. When I looked around the table tonight, I could recollect their first day with Google or with the team, their apprehensions, our 1:1s, our chats, our coffee sessions, our walks, my rants, our celebrations, their success, and our time together as a family. The summits, the Bubble tea trips, the career conversations – all came back to me.
The drive back was pensive and emotional. Relationships are the threads that when woven together, build the story of our lives. We cannot live without them. I can definitely not live without them. Relationships are truly rewarding. They are deep, personal and comforting.
By leaving a team this precious to me, I gambled with my relationships with these people. Although, we continue to be friends. I see them less often. And I miss their warmth, their understanding, their ability to just look at my face and know what was on my mind. Sigh! I don’t know if I will ever reconcile with this decision. Time will tell. But as someone said, it is hard to re create magic. And yes, we had a magical time in 2018.