frame of mind

Keeping up with our Thanksgiving tradition to escape the Bay area, we are here in San Jose Del Cabo, seeking respite from the Bay area chills and spending some quiet time with just the three of us. 

I originally planned this trip in anticipation of a much needed break, from a project that was going to consume my life and soul. The super planner in me tried to outsmart myself by booking an all-inclusive resort in the quiet side of Los Cabos. Now that is probably what I would have wanted if I was still working on the project I mentioned. But as luck might have it I am not as stressed as I thought I would be at this time of the year. I over-analyzed 😉

Agam and Tara seem pretty content with the contained environment these resorts provide. I on the other hand have been hyperventilating about the lack of things to do. I am not the “bring me my mojito while I sun bathe by the pool”, person. I am not judging anyone who enjoys that. It’s just not me. I prefer to be on the look out for the best coffee shop or bookstore or best tacos place in town. The worker bee in me does not like everything served on a platter with a fake smile.  It’s a huge turn off. 

All this prelude is to say that I am not an all-inclusive type of a person. It is far too indulgent for my liking. And I don’t like the fake Vegas like environment around me.

Finally, after stamping my feet for last three days I convinced Agam and Tara to head out to the local downtown yesterday.

It turned out to be a fabulous evening. With the locals starting to decorate the plazas for Christmas, there is a lot of bling around. There was music, dances, weddings and lots of people. Now that is what I was looking for. We did some local trinket shopping and came back to the Hyatt for a nice sushi dinner. I like the variety of restaurants on site, and the fact they all serve corn on the cobb and chicken nuggets for Tara 🙂 But I like my tacos al pastor from the street sometimes.

The saving grace for me has been the ocean view. This morning Tara and I took a small walk to the ocean and back and it was a lot of fun. The waves were crashing by the shore and making loud sounds, almost like that of a canon in a distance. Something lyrical came to mind – will complete the poem that is lingering in my mind when my mind gets some rest.

Tomorrow on Tara’s bday we plan to go to Cabos San Lucas. Apparently that is the more active part of the Los Cabos area. Now, I should have done my research and booked a hotel in the more energetic part of the city.  I like to simply get out of the hotel, and run over to the acai bowl shop around the corner. Or go for a walk to a coffee shop and bring back breakfast for Tara and Agam. Those little things are an integral part of my vacation. Lounging on the pool chairs is not my idea of a vacation. And I learnt a very expensive lesson this time 🙂

I should stop ranting at this point. There is always a certain frame of mind needed to enjoy a certain type of vacation. I am not in that frame of mind for several reasons. Also I have a strong bias towards beach vacations in Hawaii and although this is our third vacation in Mexico, I am yet to be convinced that this is for me. So it will be a while before I book another trip to Mexico. 

Another reason why I cannot really relax is because coming Sunday we have Tara’s Birthday and our annual winter holiday party at home. I am still putting together the different pieces – cake (or cupcake), mulled wine, catering (or should I just cook?), balloons, and decorations and party favors. There’s a lot on my mind 😦

Tomorrow Tara turns 4. I don’t know where these last four years went. She is such a low maintenance kid that I cannot say it has been a hard job raising her. She is a no problem child.

But I’d be lying if I say that it has been a cake walk. It is hard to raise a kid and manage two careers (not just jobs). It is hard to find hours in the day to have conversation with your spouse that does not sound like a discussion of the laundry list of things that we need to finish. It is hard to take care of yourself. It is hard to focus on your career, with the same intensity as you used to. It is hard to scale yourself when your to do list is always never ending. No it is not burn out. It is just a confession of a working Mom. 

Knowing when to lean in and when to lean out from each of the spheres, is the act that I am determined to master. I cannot be awesome at everything at all times. Like one of Greek’s said – I (god) cannot be omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent 😉

One of the working Moms once asked me how I manage to grow in my career while raising Tara. I told her, when I am with Tara, I am with Tara. When I am at work, I am at work. I only sacrifice on my “me time”. Work and Tara always get their due 😀 Not the best lesson to give to someone who is beginning on this arduous journey, but it hits 2/3 goals.

Net net –  pick the right frame of mind and right frame of reference, and do the one thing you are doing right now, well. 

I am going to follow this advice and go back to vacay mode with Tara. The explorer me will need another vacation to find the best coffee shop in some other city, at another time. Until then.. vacay on..

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