It’s been quite a day. But over the course of it, there were several course correcting events that ended up making it better than it could have been. Sigh!
First of all, I am super excited about Ganesh Chathurthi tomorrow. Which is basically the kick off of the Indian holiday season. My secret to surviving Q4 is that it starts with the Indian holiday season, and ends with the US holiday season 🙂
We start with GC, then comes Navratri/Durga Puja, and then there’s Dussehra, and in the middle there is Karva Chauth, and then there is Diwali, and then Bhai Dooj, and by then it is usually time for Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, and then New Years. One big quarter of celebrations and sweets. When all diets go out the door, and my saris see the light of the day. I plan to surprise Tara with some halwa tomorrow. She loves it, and I am sure Gampati (that’s what she calls him) will like it too.
Of course I need to survive October 2nd, which doesn’t seem to get any easier, no matter how many years pile on. I wish October 2nd was a national holiday so that I don’t have to show up to the world. But that’s not how it works, so we suck it up, put up a bold front, and move on.
So, the day started super early, due to an 8 am calibration meeting. I didn’t want to take a chance on the network issues at home, and wanted to drive in. That meant I skipped my walk 😦
Since that was not enough, FB reminded me of a memory from nine years ago. A pic of Mom and Dad at Coit Tower.
I tried really hard to bring back that feeling from nine years ago. It did not work. I was dry. There was no feeling. I could not recount anything.
I could hear him in my head. But I felt no emotion. Is this what happens after nine years? The saving grace was that I can still hear him in my head. Clearly. But I could not feel a thing.
When I parked the car, and the music stopped, I had no recollection of the drive. I have no idea who drove me there. Muscle memory is a thing. I believe it.
What followed was two intense hours of perf discussions. It was exhausting, given my mental state. But the team fared well and I am so proud of them. I was switching hats and contexts throughout the day, and that left me even more exhausted. And then I spent a couple of hours on transition meetings. I did not realize as I was doing this role, what all I was doing. And now that I have to hand it over, it is.. let me look for a word.. umm again… exhausting.
Somehow we got to the end of the day with over 25 emails in my follow up folder, most of them from my new team, and a few more peer reviews to write. On that note, it is also super exhausting to ask people to write a review for you. I am not comfortable asking people the first time around, forget about reminding them about the deadlines. Which for our team happens to be before the real deadline. I love receiving feedback, but I hate to ask for it in a written form. It is so awkward. I am so glad it is almost over.
Given the exhaustion through the day, there was practically no way I could have cooked dinner, so we ended up going to the dumpling place, as Tara likes to call it. After over eating, again due to exhaustion, and discussing all possible things that can go wrong with my futuristic moves, all stemming from the exhaustion, I was borderline depressed with how the day had ended up.
And right then, I came up with the idea to walk back home. Agam and Tara drove back, and I enjoyed a leisurely solo walk.
It was still bright. The sun had just set. It was chilly and windy. And the moon was at it’s best – it’s the third day of new moon, a silver crescent. My Dad loved to see the moon in broad daylight when he was here.
I looked at this perfect crescent shining in the sky and I felt a sense of warmth. I could not relive the feeling from nine years ago this morning. But I have shared this moon before with him. And that memory came back gushing. The force was strong enough to ease every muscle, and blow the exhaustion away. I had recovered my day.
I reached home and after getting Tara ready for bed time, I went back to my follow up email folder, all the pending peer reviews, and even this long and tardy blog post.