Tara, this is just a FYI. I wrote this in response to an article I read recently – http://www.huffingtonpost.in/amee-misra-/the-biggest-disservice-we_b_7963972.html.
Just in case you need a reminder on how your Mommy felt when you were nine months old about raising you in a neutral way.
“If you choose to be a parent, then know that it will draw out on your other commitments. Career being one of them. But being a parent does not mean that you will never have that career that you dreamt of or that you should look for an alternate career. You child will grow up, and he/she will need you in ways that are different from how they need you now. In the short term it might look like you are making a lot of compromises, while may be your partner is not. But it is your calling. You choose how to respond to your new responsibility, that you signed up for. It will not help to compare. And you are not answerable to anyone but yourself. I don’t think becoming a mother, changed how I work. If anything, I only became more efficient at finishing what I need to in the hours that I am at my desk (and catch up on rest after my daughter sleeps at night).
I don’t understand when someone says, “I raise my daughters like my sons” or vice versa. A child learns from their environment. And you can only control so much of it. My daughter will grow up in a household where chores are shared. Mommy cooks and Daddy cleans. Mommy feeds and Daddy wipes the high chair. Mommy gives a bath and Daddy puts on her clothes. My husband and I did not discuss or plan any of these splits. And that’s what my daughter will learn and expect from her partner in the future. We share chores, happiness, tears and love.
Bashing men or the society is not a lesson I want to teach my daughter. If you want your future generation to change, change your behavior. “