Hmm.. I have a lot of conflicting thoughts that I can write about. And I am finding it very difficult to pick one out of them. So here is what I am going to do.. a snippet of each 🙂

I love it when at work things just start gelling together as they should. I am a worker bee. And all I want in life is to do meaningful work that I get fair and deserving credit for. Hence all the other nuisance that comes along with that is nothing but a hurdle between me and my happiness. But there are days when you can see the dark clouds receding to give way to a brighter day. And I just love when that happens. I am thankful for such a day today.

I am really excited that Agam’s uncle and his family are in San Francisco. I love the city so much and I want everyone to enjoy it as much as I do. I can be quite an over bearing guide and I have to often control the list of recommendations I like to make when people are visiting SF. I hope they have a lovely time and the weather stays in check.

Today was the fifth day in a row at the gym. I love it. But I better not jinx it. But here is the bottom line. As a “good wife” must, I am always trying to do too many things. And unfortunately my health always ends up taking a backseat. I want to find that one woman, in US, who is up at 6:00am everyday, (ok 7:00am occasionally), has a three hour commute to and fro from work, goes to the gym for at least an hour every day, stays in perfect shape and comes home and makes hot piping dal roti for the husband. I try a lot. I seriously do. But it is extremely hard and almost not worth it to kill your self through a day that stretches from 6:00am – 11:00pm. Additionally our jobs are increasingly becoming more and more demanding. So it is not like one is sitting in a chair all day waiting for clock to strike 5:00pm.

So what is the solution? I only see two options – chuck the whole idea of being the “good wife”. Or slack off in areas where you can and look for shortcuts like eating out or ordering in or simplifying your dinner menus. I could do the five day streak because I am not eating dinner these days (I am substituting it with a shake), and Agam is savoring the food that I cooked over the weekend. There is enough for him to feel happy, but I have to ditch the idea of sharing a meal with him and ditch the idea that he will get a freshly cooked meal every day.

Why is it so complicated? I ask all the men out there – would you rather have a wife as a trophy or one that can feed you well or does it even matter to you? I know what my husband wants. He just wants a wife who can do cool stuff with him and be a companion more than any of these other things. So seems like I lucked out. (Ah now that is something to be thankful for :)) For all the other women out there, I am sorry you have to go through the pressure. If at all it helps, know that you are not the only one out there. We are all in the same boat. And some day are worse than others.

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