Lately I have noticed that change around me has become more apparent than it used to be. There have been three separate incidents in the last few months that have led me to this observation.
My beloved black MacBook started showing signs of age and the grumpiness that sometimes goes along with it. I noticed that it took forever for my photos to load and documents to open. I did some preliminary investigation that revealed I had not upgraded my OSX since quite some time. I wanted to upgrade then and there but was tempted to wait for Mountain Lion. So I waited for a few more months and decided to go with the upgrade a few weeks ago. To my utmost despair I found out that Apple had discontinued version upgrades on my MacBook model. I felt stranded. I felt old. I felt that technology had gotten ahead of me. I felt cheated as well for a little while, but then I gave in to the laws of technological change.
I got my machine four years back and I know things have changed alot since then, but I did not know that this would mean a dead end for my machine. I called Apple Support and tried many ways to convince them to at least let me upgrade to Lion, the next best OSX available. But apparently they don’t even sell that anymore. Later that week Chrome also started popping up messages indicating that my OSX was not capable of supporting upgrades. I then decided to look into backing my data into iCloud. And O’heavens I discovered that even iCloud was not supported on my OSX anymore. So basically the verdict was out. My mac had aged. It had lived its life and now it was time for something new. I love my gadgets and take really good care of them. So I felt really bad about the silent and sudden demise of my very first MacBook. I had fondly called it Cutie Pie.
So Cutie Pie had to be replaced. I did contemplate a lot of options, but then went ahead and bought his latest cousin, the MacBook Air. It is a lot slimmer and faster and of course is compatible with all things new and trendy. I honestly did not know what to tell Cutie Pie, so I just said, times have changed, I have to move on.
The other day I was at my local salon. I have been their regular customer since the last three years and knew all the employees quite well. But that was then, and things have changed now. I used to be a preferred customer and that came with some levers that I could pull, like not having to wait in a line of ten to get two tiny eyebrows threaded. Gone are the days. Most of the employees who worked there have moved on to greener pastures. Some have moved out of the area and some went back to school. Basically the place is not the same for me anymore.
When I went in on Friday, I was a little scared to trust strangers with forming or deforming my appearance. I mean, this is my face we are talking about. I don’t have much of it anyways, so whatever these girls do to make it look clean, is quite important to me. So I looked around the salon and felt a sense of nostalgia. There were days when I’d enter and have my pick of who I wanted for the task. Here I was waiting grumpily in a line, waiting for my fate to pick some specialist for me. I was not only scared, I felt pretty grim. People move on. All the relationships I had established with those girls are all a thing of the past. All the tips that I paid, in lieu of a better experience the next time, were all consumed. Now I had to start this cycle all over again. Try a few, pick my favorite, establish a relationship, and may be in a few months, things would look better. But I knew it would never be the same again. It is almost like those old friendships that fade away and then you have to start again.
The third instance is even more precarious. We had planned a trip to Denver for the long weekend. I was particularly excited about it given that Denver is sort of a second home to me. Just like NY and LA (yeah I know my math. But believe me they are all second homes :P)
But suddenly last weekend, we were both pretty low and I asked Agam if he was OK with canceling the trip and just being home for the long weekend. I had never imagined myself saying this. If it was up to me, I would travel every weekend, as long as someone else was paying our mortgage bills 🙂 Surprisingly, Agam also agreed. And so within the next 30 minutes, we canceled our flights and hotel reservations. And I felt better. I am not quite sure what triggered the cancellation. It was perhaps just a longing to be home with Agam and not have a plan. With things changing so much around us, all I wanted was the bliss of permanence – our home and us.
I know change is the only thing permanent in this world. But lately, it has become more apparent. Perhaps this is a part of growing up. Sigh!