Ebbs and Flows

Each time a week like this goes by, it reminds me how we all operate under our true potential in normal circumstances. And how much stronger we become each time adversities cross our paths. No it is not about Irene. Though Irene does have a role to play in all that happened.
Starting projects is always a challenge. There is the usual forming, storming, norming, and performing phases. Then there is the stress of travel, of letting go of all the comforts and disciplines you build around your life, when you are not traveling – like a regime of going to the gym, eating healthy, and most importantly being with your family.  It is all worth it as some say, but there are days you don’t see the worth and you evaluate the worthiness of your job. The same job that gives you pleasure and thrill during the day becomes a reason to sulk when you are all by yourself in your dark hotel room at night. It is the usual ebbs and flows.
Last week was also marked with the final ceremony of my Dad’s transition. I was not there when they started, and I was not there to end them. I just fit in when it is convenient for me. That’s my life. I don’t design it that way, it just happens to be so. I finally cried like that child who loses her Dad this week. It took me a year to get there.
Last week I also surprised myself by asking God (or whatever that exists), to make it easy for my Uncle to transition into the other world. I could not believe my ears when I heard my prayers. It was clear – “if you have to take him, then take him sooner than later. Don’t make him suffer. He was a good man. And he deserves better.” Our family deserves better. We are exhausted with overlapping grief and the series of unfortunate happenings.
But things got over complicated this week when Irene struck East and chaos struck my well planned schedule for the next week. I was to hit NJ/NY/CT area on Sunday and shit happened. So now I will get there only on Tuesday ! I am heading to NJ to spend time with my niece who was born last year. I want to spend time especially with her dad who is dealing with a prolonged grief, much like mine, of losing his Dad. His sorrow is deeper than mine; he is seeing his Dad’s health deteriorate over time, and it is at the point of no return. I don’t know how I can help him, perhaps I cannot. But I want to him to see me and know that life moves on.
And then I will head further East to spend time with Damu. We are heading to Mystic, CT for a couple of days and then we hit the City on Sunday evening. We got lucky with the hotel and are staying bang on Central Park. Super!! It is sort of charming to go back to the city you once lived in and stay in a hotel. I have googled the location and there is a Dean and Dulca close by. I have fetish for that store (don’t ask me why). I secretly keep hoping that something happens and NY calls me back for good. I miss that city. I loved it there. I love CA too, but there is always that first love, and NY scores on that.
So while I will be enjoying the warmth of family and friends, Agam will be enjoying in the heat of Rock City, Nevada; at the Burning Man. The funny thing is that this long weekend, we both will be doing things that we always wanted to do, with our respective roommates from engineering days. Life is good when you have friends around you, who share your interests and passions. So it was not just Irene that clouded my thoughts, there was just way too much going on. But the past is behind us. And the week ahead looks promising.
Enjoy the long weekend everyone.

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