Once upon a wish !

When I woke up from a short nap on Sunday afternoon, I found an eye lash sitting on my cheek. As kids we had this silly gimmick; if you see an eye lash on your cheek, then put it on the back of your palm, and make a wish. If the eyes lash vanishes when you blow it, then your wish will come true. If the eye lash is stuck to the skin, too bad, wait for another one  it all sounds so silly now. Sigh !

On Sunday when I found the eye lash, I was reminded of all the silly little things I used to wish for when I was young. It used to be a mixed bag of things I wanted or desired and hence wished for. And then I was struck by a terrible feeling that these days I don’t even have a wish to ask for!! Have I stopped wishing and dreaming? May be not, but I have definitely lost track of my fervor.

More thinking on these lines made me revisit my day’s schedule. I realized that suddenly I am not doing the things I know I like and enjoy. When you follow something passionately, you set expectations with yourself and start making short term and long term goals. But the activities I used to be passionate about have simply vanished from my routine, and lately I have been thinking a lot about how I let it happen. So here is a list.

Read NY Times – Maureen Dawd, Gail Collins, Paul Krugman, David Brooks and other fun columnists. I read the Times daily. Not miss a single day of coverage. I am not doing that anymore.

Work Out – get that 45 minute out for myself. The only place I can zone in and out of reality (depending on the music).

Write my observations. Not really blog posts, but pointers for my blog posts and general contemplation.

Read a book. Live another life. Dream! Aspire.

Watch a movie on Netflix with Agam. Again, living another life, dreaming, visiting places and situations virtually.

Cook – I don’t like the taste of what I cook anymore. I am always cooking multiple things at a time and don’t focus on one dish.

IM Conversation with friends. I don’t reply to people when they IM me. I am either too involved in something and miss their messages or I just feel that I don’t have time to carry out a conversation.

Lastly, but more importantly – wanting more from life. And this ties back to the lack of wishes in my kitty.

I cannot blame it all on work. Yes it is the most time consuming part of my day. But even when things are a little relaxed at work, I indulge in self gratification and kick back and do nothing. Nothing wrong with it. But I miss myself and my routine and the things I loved, that helped me wish!

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far – Behind me.

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